


remember me, love, when i'm reborn

by jolychetta



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Character Turned Into a Ghost, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Character Death, also shadow weaver is not very nice at all, but doesn't stay dead, diverging from canon for the angst of it all, kind of? i mean one of them is a ghost so, set within canon but i have a terrible memory so it's very vague, to say the least
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:08:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26359978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jolychetta/pseuds/jolychetta
Summary: Bright Moon is haunted. Adora is sure of it, even if no one else really believes it. But the ghost is making her lose sleep, and she needs to be on top form, so she sets out to make peace with it and find out where it came from. She finds out more than she bargained for.in which Catra is a ghost(ish), Adora is tired, Bow and Glimmer are wonderful friends, and Shadow Weaver is...Shadow Weaver
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 76





	remember me, love, when i'm reborn

**Author's Note:**

> written per suggestion from my friend melissa so everyone say a big thank u to them

Bright Moon castle is haunted. At least, Adora is pretty sure it is, although Glimmer reassures her that ghosts are not a thing, not even here. But Glimmer doesn’t know everything, and Adora can’t shake the feeling that she is being watched. It feels a lot like that time on Mystacor, and she had been right then, too. It can’t be Shadow Weaver, not this time, because they had captured her recently and are keeping her at the castle. Adora has checked several times that she’s still there, and so far she hasn’t found anything that points to the contrary. And why would it be Shadow Weaver, if she’s already here? No, something, or someone else is haunting Bright Moon, following Adora everywhere, and it’s driving her mad that no one else has noticed. 

She can’t sleep. Every time she’s on the edge, half-asleep, something happens. The curtains rattle, the water of the fountain splashes, a book drops, and sometimes she swears she can feel someone touching her arm. She jerks awake every time, but there is never a sign that anyone is in the room with her. Bright Moon has to be haunted, because if it isn’t, that means that Adora has finally completely lost it, and she can’t bear the thought of that. She has to be strong and keep it together, or everything will fail and everyone will blame her. She can’t fail, and she can’t be losing it like this. So she has to figure out what is haunting the castle, or who, because the fate of Etheria is hinging on this. 

“Okay, ghost.” No, not like that. “Okay, um, presence. Person. Ghost? I know you’re there, whoever you are. I don’t know what you want because I don’t know who you a-” She’s interrupted by a stack of books falling over with a loud clatter. “Right. See, that’s the problem! I don’t, um, I guess I don’t mind you being here, but you’re very loud and I need to sleep. So,” She pauses, thinking. “if I talk to you, will you let me sleep at night?” The stack of books sheepishly restacks. “I’ll take that as a yes. So, uh, what...hm...well. I’m Adora. You probably know that, I mean, you’re haunt- you’re following me. I think. I, uh, I have a horse? He can fly. And talk. His name is Swift Wind. Oh, and my friends! You’ve probably seen them.” Adora keeps talking, sharing stories about Bow and Glimmer and their adventures. It’s kind of nice, she thinks, telling someone else about everything, even if the ghost can’t reply. Every now and then, they move something or a gust of wind passes by Adora, which she assumes is the ghost trying to react to her stories. She barely realises how fast time passes, and she doesn’t fall asleep until the sun begins showing its first rays. 

“Adora, ghosts are not real. And even if they were, why would one be here? You need to relax. You need to sleep.” Glimmer says the next morning upon seeing Adora’s worn-out face. 

“I’m fine, it’s fine! I’m dealing with it!” Adora replies as she’s shoveling breakfast food into her face. Even after all this time at Bright Moon, everything is still a delight to her. Pancakes. Scones. Real food, not grey ration bars. Sometimes she wonders if she’s dreaming and about to wake up to Catra yanking her blankets.

“Uh-uh, you sure look...well rested.” Bow adds with a concerned look.

“Really, guys, I’m fine. I’ve got it handled. I just have to -” She doesn’t finish the sentence, suddenly self-conscious. She doesn’t want to share her deal with the ghost. It seems silly in the daylight, and even more so if she told Bow and Glimmer, who don’t believe the ghost even exists. 

“It’s fine, really.”

“Okay, well.” Glimmer puts her hand on Adora’s arm. “You know you can talk to us, right?” 

Adora nods, and continues eating as Bow and Glimmer begin discussing their next mission. Adora’s mind wanders, wondering about the ghost, the previous night, the way talking to it had felt familiar in a way it shouldn’t. She’s never talked to, or met a ghost before. Of course not, if even Glimmer doesn’t believe they exist, they must be rare. A broken fragment of Etheria’s magic, a remnant of Angella’s presence at Bright Moon, a creation of Adora’s own fragmented mind. She doesn’t know what it is, all she knows is that it is real, and it seems to like her talking to it, acknowledging it. There has to be a way to find out who it is. She can’t shake the feeling that she should know, that the ghost  _ wants _ her to know, that there is a piece of the puzzle that would complete the picture. 

“Adora?” Glimmer’s voice pulls her out of her thoughts. “Are you listening?”

“Huh? Yeah, yeah of course!” The sentence hangs in the air. “What are we doing?”

She doesn’t miss the concerned glance her two friends share.

“There’s a village not far out that’s under siege by the Horde and they’ve asked for our help. It shouldn’t be too difficult, but it’s unfamiliar territory, so we’ll make a plan today and head out tomorrow.” 

Adora nods. “Yeah, yes, sounds good.” This leaves her more time to solve the problem of the ghost. “I’ll go and, uh, train. Research. Both? Yeah.” She gets up abruptly and leaves the room in search of Bright Moon’s library. She hasn’t been there before, so she only has a vague idea of where it is and gets lost on the way. Against her intents, she finds herself in front of the locked door of Shadow Weaver’s holding cell. She could knock. She could ask. Shadow Weaver probably knows about ghosts, about haunting presences that won’t leave you alone and like it if you talk to them. Probably. Or she doesn’t, and will take the opportunity to unsettle Adora. Still, it’s worth a try. 

When she enters the room, she gets the unsettling feeling that Shadow Weaver has been expecting her. She’s standing calmly in the middle of the room and although she can’t see it, Adora can feel her condescending smile, like she knows something Adora doesn’t, and it takes more of her strength than she’s willing to admit to not jump her right there and then. She feels anger course through her, mixed up with hurt and upset. She can’t let Shadow Weaver see her break, she can’t let her believe for one more moment that she can get under Adora’s skin. Whether it’s true or not, she knows Shadow Weaver will prey on it, jump on any sign of weakness and tear her apart limb from limb with only her soft-spoken words laced with poison.

She straightens her back and puts on a calm face. “You’re gonna tell me everything you know about ghosts. I  _ know _ you know something.” 

Shadow Weaver laughs. She laughs, and doesn’t reply, and Adora can’t stand it, can’t stand the way that laugh makes her feel small and insignificant. 

“Tell me. Now.”

“Oh, Adora. There are no ghosts. You’re making it up. You’ve finally lost it, haven’t you? Seeing ghosts, hearing things…” Her smile crawls underneath Adora’s skin like a parasite.

“I never - I never said I’ve seen one. Met one. This isn’t about me. Or you.” She can’t crack. She can’t show weakness, not with her.

“It’s always about you, Adora. You’ve always made it about you. Don’t pretend you’re better than you are, you’re still weak at heart. After all, you left Catra behind. You joined the princesses. You left me, who has looked out for you your whole life. You’re seeing ghosts? Maybe the past is finally catching up to you, Adora.” Shadow Weaver turns her back on Adora. “I can’t help you.”

She grits her teeth. She knows Shadow Weaver knows more than she’s telling, she  _ knows _ but when she tries to speak again, no sound comes out. She doesn’t know what to say, what to do to make Shadow Weaver talk, and she can’t bear her calm composure for another minute. She turns on her heel and leaves. It’s fine, she thinks, she doesn’t need Shadow Weaver anymore. She can do this on her own if she needs to.

As she leaves the room, she can feel a presence next to her, a whispering wind, and she knows the ghost is back with her. She wonders if it heard her conversation, if it heard what Shadow Weaver had said about her and if it thinks badly of her now. The kindness shown by Glimmer and Bow still feels unfamiliar, undeserved, like a shirt that feels like it doesn’t fit right even though it’s the right size. She loves them, and she knows they love her, but more often than not she catches herself wondering if they’re just passing the time until she stops being useful. Once they save Etheria and they don’t need She-Ra anymore, will they still be her friends, or will they see her as she is and leave? She abandoned her best friend for a couple of strangers, and the guilt eats her up every day, but no one else seems bothered by it. It’s almost as if they’ve forgiven her for it, telling her that she had no other choice, and that Catra could have followed her, too. Adora knows they’re right, she knows they’re only telling her the truth, but she also knows they’re missing a big part of the picture. They don’t know the countless times Catra has comforted her, held her hand when she was hurt, showed her new places she knew Adora would love, and cheered her up when she cried. They don’t know how much Catra means to her, and how hard it was to leave. They don’t know Catra, and how much she had cared for Adora. 

She feels a hand on her arm. “Adora?” Without noticing, Adora had reached the hallway of her room, and Glimmer had caught her. 

“Oh, hey, Glimmer. How’s, uh, how’s the planning?” 

“It’s fine. I’ve…” She holds up a stack of books. “I’ve brought you some books. For your...ghost. Problem. If you say it’s real, I believe you and if we can find out what it is, then maybe...maybe we can help it?” She gives Adora an apologetic look, an extension of a helping hand, and Adora nods. She doesn’t have it in her to refuse her friend.

“Bow wants to help too, if that’s alright. We’ve finished most of the plans for tomorrow, so we have plenty of time left for this. What do you say we get some blankets and pillows and have a Best Friend Squad slumber party?”

At this, Adora smiles. Whether she believes it or not, her friends do care about her. “Hell yeah, that sounds awesome.”

They spend the remaining hours of the day pouring over books, interrupted only for food breaks. Adora finds it difficult to focus on the books, the text often too dense and complicated for her to make sense of it, but Glimmer reads one after another in search of any hint that can help. Bow tries, too, but soon falls asleep on an open book and snores quietly. Adora notices that the presence of the ghost has left. She no longer feels the gentle wind or hint of a breeze, as if the ghost is scared of the presence of Bow and Glimmer. It doesn’t make sense. She was the only person in the castle who hadn’t grown up in, or near Bright Moon, but the ghost seems insistent to show itself only to her. She can’t figure it out, no matter how hard she thinks about it. It has to be significant, but she just doesn’t know why.

“Oh, hey, here’s something!” Glimmer suddenly exclaims, jerking Adora from her thoughts and Bow from his nap. “It’s not ghosts, exactly, but this says...hold on.” She furrows her brow and looks at the page intently. “It’s some magic thing, I don’t understand it exactly, but sometimes when a person dies...no, wait, when they are killed, sometimes their spirit holds on, like sort of...an echo? It seems complicated, I don’t think this person even really knows what it is. The echo seems to be tied to whatever it is that prevented them from moving on. This might be it, right? There’s always been so much magic at Bright Moon, it doesn’t seem unreasonable.” 

As Glimmer is speaking, the windows of the room fly open with a sudden clang and wind blows through, sending papers flying and tearing at the pages of the books. Bow jumps, immediately ready to fight, and Glimmer’s fists light up. But Adora only stares at the open window and scattered papers. Glimmer’s find seems to be more relevant than any of them expected, because this must be the ghost making itself known. They’ve found something, and Adora is one step closer to finding that missing piece, to quieting that gnawing thought at the back of her mind that she is forgetting something very obvious.

“I think,” she starts, “you might be right, Glimmer.” Her friends settle down, but their faces still show traces of shock. 

“Yeah...yeah, I think I might be.” 

“Well, I guess that means it’s time for us to sleep. We have a mission tomorrow.” Bow says with a stern look at Adora. “You too, Adora. No losing sleep tonight, I’ll make sure of it.” 

Despite her excitement about their discovery and her racing thoughts, Adora sleeps more on this night than she has for the past week. Her body feels worn out and comforted by the presence of her friends on either side, she falls into a dreamless sleep. 

Their mission the next day is a disaster. They save the town and the villagers, and drive back the Horde soldiers, but Adora feels uneasy. Her body knows that something is wrong, something is off, and she can’t place why until they overtake the last few of the Horde soldiers, chased by She-Ra’s anger and Bow’s arrows. Catra isn’t there. Catra is always there, but she’s nowhere to be seen now, and Adora has a bad feeling about it, a sickness lying in her stomach. Catra is always there, but she isn’t now, and Adora can’t think of any reason why that doesn’t make her feel like she’d been punched in the gut. As she’s taking out the last of the Horde robots, the thought races through her mind.  _ What if she’s gone? _ it asks as she’s slashing down on a soldier.  _ What if she’s gone?  _ it presses as Glimmer grabs her and teleports them out of the way of a destructive beam.  _ What if she’s dead?  _ it insists as they return to Bright Moon, tired and worn-out, but victorious.  _ What if she’s gone?  _ the thought asks again. Catra is always there, but she wasn’t this time. 

Adora stops. “She killed her.” She whispers.

“What?” Glimmer and Bow turn around, only now aware that Adora hasn’t said anything since the battle.

“She killed her. Shadow Weaver. She...she did something to Catra. She was acting weird, yesterday, I mean, weirder than usual. Like she knew something. She knows something. She -” The anger hits suddenly, like a hawk swooping down on a helpless mouse, and Adora feels its claws sink into her heart, and the pain blinds her senses. She can’t see or hear anything, but her feet move as if moved by fate, towards Shadow Weaver, towards revenge and the slightest hope that she’s guessed wrong, that Catra is still alive. Adora feels Bow hold her back, feels the familiar unnerving feeling of Glimmer’s teleportation, and then a warm mug pressed into her hands and a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. 

“I’m sorry.” She whispers, more to herself than anyone. 

“It’s not your fault, Adora. If...even if you’re right, it’s not your fault.” Glimmer says softly rubbing her shoulders.

“I’m sorry.” Adora says again, and swallows hard. “Not...I shouldn’t...I don’t know. What happened. I just...I…” The words feel like rocks lodged in her throat, the effort of speaking more taxing than their battle earlier. 

“She’ll pay. We’ll make sure of it, Adora. You just rest, now. You...you need sleep. We’ll take care of it.” 

She doesn’t mean to fall asleep. Her thoughts are stuck on her rage, her fear, her guilt, one leading to the other in an endless spiral. It won’t let her go, no matter how hard she tries, and she wonders what would have happened if she’d gotten to Shadow Weaver. The next time she opens her eyes, it’s dark. She’s alone, huddled under several blankets on her bed, in the quiet room where nothing moves, not even her. 

“I had a friend, once, you know.” She whispers, almost without meaning to. “Her name is...was Catra.” Speaking Catra’s name with such affection, not laced with pain or anger or resentment, feels strange. She hasn’t thought about her this way for so long, convincing everyone that she had left everything behind, and keeping her guilt hidden deep inside where it couldn’t hurt anyone but herself. But now, she feels like if she keeps it inside any longer, she might cease to breathe and her heart would stop and she would turn to stone right here on the soft bed in Bright Moon.

“She was my best friend. She...it can’t have been easy, being my friend, when Shadow Weaver was around, but she always stuck with me. And she was more important to me than anyone. If someone...had offered me everything I wanted, the whole world and more, I wouldn’t have accepted it unless I could stay by Catra’s side. I still wouldn’t. I…” She pauses, and tears well up in her eyes. She doesn’t want to cry, she doesn’t want to show any sign of weakness even to the quiet darkness of her room, she can’t let herself go even one bit, not when so many people counted on her success. And yet, she can’t stop the flow of silent tears. “I never wanted to go anywhere if Catra wasn’t going there, too. I didn’t think I would ever be without her, I didn’t...I didn’t think that was even possible. It’s always been Catra and Adora. It’s always...you know, I...as a kid, I always felt sorry for people who didn’t know her. I mean, really  _ know  _ her. Behind her walls and her defenses, behind all her pretenses, she’s brighter than anything I’ve seen. Even here. She…” Adora trails off, unable to find the right words. She feels like the puzzle piece is finally slotting in, completing a picture so simple that it seems impossible she hasn’t seen it until now. “I loved her. I love her, still. I wish...I wish I could tell her.” She says, almost inaudible, an admission only to herself and the unmoving darkness.

“I’m here.” A soft voice says next to her, a comforting tone that she has heard so many times in her life, each time more important than the last, and this the most important of all. “I’m here.” Catra says, and in front of Adora’s eyes, a luminescent shimmer breaks the darkness. It grows brighter, briefly lighting up the whole room like a stroke of lightning, and Adora shields her eyes. When she opens them again, the darkness has returned, and she feels a hand on her arm. Not the whisper of a touch, like she’s felt so many nights in the past week, but the firm yet comforting touch of someone who loves her, someone who has always loved her, someone who, until now, had been only the echo of her living self, returned now to the one whose love had kept her tethered to this world.

“Catra.” Adora whispers, as if worried that the slightest noise would make this vision disappear.

“Hey Adora.” Catra replies, as if every piece of love she has for Adora could fit into those two words. Adora understands, though, an eternity of love compressed into this single moment, and she kisses Catra softly, everything she couldn’t say put into a singular movement. 

The unmoving darkness watches, and contents itself with being the only witness to this deed of fate. 

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/jordnhollis) and maybe check out some of my other work too xx  
> title is from a hozier song bc im a useless lesbian


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